Very Specific TV Show Categories
You've heard of Comfort Shows! Now, gather and hear tell of new, exciting categories.
I was recently sick for(ever) about a week and was reminded of the rare simple pleasure of a quality Sick Day TV Show.
Thus, once again a bell rang and, once again, a list of lists was born.
Sick Day Shows
A good sick day show is binge-able, not too exciting or challenging, and typically airs on Spike TV during the day.
C.S.I. Crime Scene Investigators
Why was I watching this as a child? It’s not even violent, it’s just so gross! That episode with a dead man in a tub really stuck with me.
Law and Order: SVU
Olivia, Elliot, and me. The three of us have such a storied history.
Bones
The greatest crime procedural of all time? Suck it, THE WIRE!! (The Wire is not a procedural.) Full letter on Bones is tbd.
Criminal Minds
For those keeping track…I’ve now lapped around back to the beginning of Criminal Minds because I got bored in season 12.
America’s Next Top Model
I used to knock out full seasons in just one sicky icky day.
Sleep Shows
What makes for a good sleep show? Comfort is definitely a key factor, here. As is familiarity. If you can close your eyes and still know who is talking, what’s happening, and can still smile or chuckle along…probably have yourself a sleep show right there.
Bob’s Burgers
This goes against every reasonable cone and rod in my body. By all logic, the BRIGHTEST show on television should be an unacceptable sleep show…and yet.
Seinfeld
All the comfort of 90s clothes with the bonus of low-stakes giggles.
The Office
This is my wife’s primary addition to today’s list since I told her I needed to cut One Tree Hill.
“I feel self-conscious about being seen as a basic bitch. Please tell them I have been doing this for dozens of years. I’m not a basic bitch.”
What We Do in the Shadows
The opposite of Bob’s in that this is the most pleasant dark show on TV. Notice I didn’t say darkest, because we all know that is the last season of GoT.
Dinner Shows
The dinner show. Crucial. Historically, some of the most important TV shows in a nuclear family’s rotation. Impossible to ignore the brave game shows that lead the way for this genre.
Deal or No Deal Island
Listen, this show is bonkers. But sometimes so is dinner.
The Voice
4 chairs! 4 chairs!
Claim to Fame
A perfect dinner show.
Next Level Chef
Cooking shows don’t always make great dinner shows. But this one has enough stupid gamey elements to make it a hit. Just like Secret Chef.
Abbott Elementary
One of these things is not like the others. What can I say, it works!
Don’t Tell Other People You Watch Them Shows
Oof. I am so brave to share, thank you for saying that. It’s okay to keep some of your watching habits a dark, dirty secret. But also…why!? TV is good even when it’s bad and embarrassing. That’s the fun.
Couple to Throuple
My last letter is in direct contrast to today’s list placement. Oh well!
Bluey
We (adults who very occassionally watch Bluey) can all agree that it’s a show about being a good grownup.
Elementary
I’m not embarrassed (per say), but I do wonder if I’m the only one to have ever watched this one.
Spongebob
Every Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. Like Church.
Caffienation Station
… It’s not that I recommend this. Because I can’t in good conscience. But… there’s the live show and the chat and… crewbies are so allergic to being chill. Ideal.
Constantly Bring Up Shows
Wow. Some of my very favorite shows exist in this category. The shows that you simply can’t keep yourself from gabbing about! Is there an active fandom out there posting on Reddit, creating podcasts, ranting and raving about the latest episode? If there’s not, HMU and we can work something out.
Couple to Throuple
See?!
Real Housewives of New York
Why watch a Real Housewife without literally telling everyone you know?
Reservation Dogs
One of the greatest shows. I will evangelize it any day.
Nathan For You
I don’t know why it happens. But once you start talking Nathan, it’s impossible to stop! What about the “soft-shell jacket buyers?” “Isn’t it terrible that things like this happen in this world?” “Grandson’s pee.”
Bones
:)
Talk Over Shows
Not all shows are created to be equally enjoyed. This includes the degree to which one pays attention. Here are some shows that… won’t distract you from getting the updates on Samantha’s bisexual dating life.
Destination Fear
Don’t pay attention to this show. Watch for the nuggets of gold like “It touched my butt and then said ‘did.’”
The Voice
85% of this show is talking about the show.
The Bachelor
Only dumb dumbs pay complete attention.
Talk Along Shows
There is a very important distinction (and quality jump) from the above category. The chatter here is less about distraction and much more about emphasis, enhancement, and reiteration. Proceed with caution when gabbing along with a new group.
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Great show for groans, screams, and giggles.
Outlander
Great show for groans, screams, and giggles!
Real Housewives of (New York, Beverly Hills)+
All time great show for groans, screams, and giggles!
Talk After Shows
Now this category is on discussion groups. Most of my group messages serve this exact purpose. The all-important DEBRIEF is crucial here.
Westworld, Season 1
Much to discuss!
The Rehearsal
You know what you know! If you don’t know, it’ll be easy to find a book club for this show once you start watching.
The Traitors (US, AU, NZ)
The gab. The goss. The ultimate “need to debrief” show.
Fleabag
Ugh. I mean.
End of Night Shows
Sacred. The last show of the night is the button on your social hour. Picture it: You’ve gathered your friends to watch a Twilight movie. You ate your pizza, laughed at Rosalie saying “blood,” and now it’s that awkward beat between wrapping up with your friends and them actually leaving. This is that precious moment for these EON Shows. They’re silly. They’re fun. But there’s some substance–and comfort too.
Kindred Spirits
You can’t just come into a house and start yelling at ghosts. The non-living deserve respect!!!
Shoes are often ghosts.
Armies of the undead. Thousands. March upon us.
Semi-Homemade with Sandra Lee
She was the first lady of New York while making these crazy meat loaves.
Crufts
Can’t explain. Just watch.
Battlebots
Did you know that on YouTube there are perfect little, 10-minute, Fight of the Week, morsels to chew up right before bed?
American Gladiator
If the 80s was American Ninja Warrior + WWE. I love this show.
What did you think of this listie? I’m still getting used to and experimenting with this weird little substack thing. I think that sometimes it can be one-off spit-bally things like this, but that the standard will be like the last one (aka a featured show I’m watching). I’m open to your thoughts, but I also just watched the episode of Abbott wherein everyone hates Jacob’s emails…
Vertical Integration Section
Each time I send this email thingy around, I’ll include little updates on what I’m up to!
PRESSED is coming to Caveat on May 24th! NYC, this is your last chance to see the live sketch show that sold out in Brooklyn, DC, and Chicago. Get your tickets now!
The show is on the last night of my 20s.
My parents will be there, so that’s a big perk.
Rat Czar is finalizing the cast and crew over the next couple weeks! Please reach out if you want to be involved and haven’t heard from me, Ana, or Jake! We cannot wait to start production in June.
P.S. We are raising money. If you know someone who loves to fund hilarious projects helmed by women, Latinx folks, Queer folks, and other Hotties—please reach out!! We have a list of amazing ways to spend your money.
(Yes, we have exciting celebs attached. This production is legit. Directed by a four-time Emmy nominee.)
The GOAT is sitting pretty with ELEVEN (11!!) awards from contests and festivals around the world. Unfortunately, it’s hard to get meetings in the biz right now. If you’re reading this and your dad or uncle runs FX, lmk.
Oh my gosh - I love this list! Because 1) so relatable. I will annoy anyone who will let me about Reservation Dogs, the Batchelor is impossible if you aren't simultaneously prepping for dinner, doing laundry, and catching up with your sister on the phone, and I've never felt more part-of-the-cast as with It's Always Sunny - the ultimate talk-along show - like I'm pretty sure they're my friends now? And 2) I didn't realize how much I was missing out on. Bones made it into multiple categories, so WHERE HAVE I BEEN, and Elementary...well I am one of those that's never heard of it and that's gotta change.